Being Intentional: Friendships

"Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold."

Make new friends
I moved from Indiana to Arizona in the summer of 2010. Very extended family live here in Phoenix, but my husband and I had to learn to make new friends. It was hard leaving our close families, a church family we loved, and best friends we had shared life experiences with. Making friends in Arizona took a while, and is still a work in process. Once friendships are made, it takes effort on both parts to continue getting to know one another. And everyone needs a friend.

Keep the Old
I remember singing the song ^above^ in 2nd grade. Mrs. Stiver's class... Tiffany probably shares the same memory. She and I have known each other since then... 2nd grade. Although we weren't extremely close in high school and didn't communicate again until after college, our friendship has evolved into one of encouragement, no judgement, love, laughter, and discipleship. I also have other close friends from Indiana that I don't get to see often. But I genuinely care about their life and want to continue our friendship. However this takes work and time, effort and intentionality (see next paragraph).

One is Silver
You know what I'm also not so good at? ... Staying in contact with those friends I've had for a long time. Calling, texting, hanging out, sending a card. I WANT to do that;  my heart says, "I need to do this for this person." But I'm not always so good at making the time. So my challenge to myself is to continue reaching out to my friends. Ones from home in Indiana, friends I've made here in Arizona, and others along the way. Those friends you've known the longest have been refined by trials, experiences, and memories. Don't let those friendships made of silver fade.

The Other is Gold
Gold= shiny and new.
Keeping a relationship like a friendship growing takes two people being genuinely interested in each other's lives; caring about the other person. Friendship should have no judgement but be able to have the ability to be authentic and honest enough to tell each other the truth (in kindness and love). There are times I struggle with being completely honest in a friendship sometimes. It's hard to tell a friend that they hurt you or their sarcastic comments are getting old, or ask why they aren't reaching out to you as much as you're reaching out to them. I struggle sometimes with giving too much of myself continuously to a relationship, and often not asking for what I need of the other person. Is that wrong or selfish? I'm not sure. But I'm asking God to help me understand it better.

What I do know is that God talks about friendship in the Bible. He gives us guidance on how to treat others, how to love others, and how to work together.

Luke 6:31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Ask yourself... Is there someone in your life you want to reconnect with? Do you have a friend or friends that you need to reach out to? Do you need to show a friend love and forgiveness? BE INTENTIONAL! Pick up the phone, send a card, schedule quality time with the people you care about. Because you would want someone to do the same for you.