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The Lies We Tell Ourselves - Excerpts From My Journal

Happy Friday!

I have to say I was a little blown away by Kelly's post yesterday... not only was it so well written, but it was exactly what has been on my heart lately!  If you haven't read yesterday's post, I would recommend that you go back and read it - it's not long but it's so relevant.

She did such a fantastic job of explaining how our thoughts can control our lives.  She shared with you a verse from 2 Corinthians which has been a long time favorite of mine: 2 Corinthians 10:5: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it more obedient to Christ." 

I too have struggled with anxiety throughout my life and taking thoughts captive is something that my mom taught me to do at a young age.  The bible says that the devil comes to kill, steal and destroy.  He wants to destroy any sense of of peace, joy and comfort that we may have in our lives and he targets our weaknesses by lying to us about the things we fear the most.  John 8:44 says of the enemy: When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.  On the contrary it says about God in Hebrews 6:18: It is impossible for God to lie.

As I sit and write, I want to give you an insight into my own thoughts and how I've used God's Truth to counter some of the anxieties/lies that I've believed in my own life.  One of the big ones that used to haunt me in my past was that there was something wrong with me - with the person that I am.  That I wasn't good enough.  I think this is one of the major lies that the enemy tells us.  This lie affected me in so many ways - infiltrated so many area of my life.  I'm currently reading a book called The Five Languages of Apology, written by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.  In the last chapter I read, it talked about people who over-apologize.  Oh my, that used to be me!  The second anything went wrong with anyone I was apologizing for it, whether it was my fault or not!  The book suggests that this may be a self-esteem issue and I couldn't agree more.  The moment that anyone got mad at me, the voice inside my head said, "you are bad," "how could you be so stupid?".  Oh those voices, they tormented me.  They whispered to me at times, other times they screamed. This tied into another issue - I always felt I was too sensitive.  I have always felt emotions deeply.  I love deeply, I hurt deeply.  My heart breaks for those who are hurting or in need.  When there is a problem in my relationship with someone I feel it deeply.  The message I got growing up was that I cried to much, that I was too sensitive and that I needed to "get over it".  Again, I didn't feel like I was okay.  I didn't know how to not feel things so deeply so I was never fully comfortable with who I was.

As I look back on some of my journal entries from those days I see where I poured out my heart to God and some of the scriptures that touched my heart during those moments.  I'd like to share a couple with you.

November 2001
What is this that has been chipping at my soul lately? My spirit feels weak, not strong and confident like I want to be.  Nothing in the world seems quite just right.  I find myself questioning everything.  What do I do?  I want to hear your voice so that I can be comforted. I'm not satisfied with the way my life is.  Is this what you want?  Are you trying to teach me something?  God only you can understand how I really feel.  I just wish I knew how to express it.  I envy David, how he wrote all those words in Psalms that were so passionately honest.  I don't know how to express how I feel.

Psalms 77 I cried out to God for help, I cried out to God to hear me.  When I was in distress I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted...Then I thought to this I will appeal; I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.  I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

October 2003
...I couldn't help the feeling of fear inside, the reminder, a jolt back to reality. This is life and nothing is for sure except for you Lord.  It is not safe to trust in man because we are all imperfect.  This nagging fear somewhere inside causes me to feel just a little bit desperate...

God's promise: Psalms 62 Find rest oh my soul in God alone, my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and honor depend on my God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

I remember one day years ago like it was yesterday.  I was sitting in church during a time of worship and I suddenly heard a voice inside loud and clear say, "Julie, I made you with a sensitive heart.  You are exactly who I want you to be.  It is a blessing, not a curse."  Those last six words today still grab my heart and cause a lump in my throat.  It was as if a lightbulb went on in my head.  The lie over all of those years that my sensitive heart was a curse was suddenly exposed in the light for exactly what it was - a lie.  The Lord's truth is that my sensitivity is a blessing and that it would be used to bless others as well.  I wrote about this time in my life in my journal:

October 2001
God, you have been teaching me just how valuable I am to you.  I have confidence that I am beautiful, that I have a beautiful spirit.  I sometimes feel that loving people so deeply and being so sensitive is a curse - that it makes me a weak person.  On the contrary, you have been teaching me that it is your blessing/gift to me.  I am not lacking in anything in your eyes and if I am of great worth to you then nothing in the world could mean more to me!  Thank you for these gentle reminders when I need them the most.

1Peter 3:4 Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

Do you have a journal?  I would encourage you to pour out your heart to God.  Maybe a good way to begin to recognize what lies the devil is cursing you with would be to make a simple chart.  It could look like this for example:

Lie: I'm not good enough
Truth: Psalm 139:13 I was created by God in his image
           1John 3:1-3 I am a child of God

Lie: Fear (of harm, the future etc.)
Truth: Psalm 23:4 Even when things are bad, I will fear no evil for he is always with me
           John 14:27 Do not let your hearts be troubled, do not be afraid

When a fear/anxiety/negative thought comes to mind, write it down and begin to look for scriptures that will tell you the truth about it.  You can use the concordance in the back of your Bible to help you with this.  You can look up a specific word, for example, "fear" or "peace" and it will refer you to verses that include those words.

Blessings for a wonderful weekend and please feel free to comment if you have any questions or need any prayer or encouragement!

         

The A Word - Part 2

A few weeks ago I shared my struggle with the A word... anxiety. I described some of the thoughts I have, what makes me anxious, and also what verses have put me at ease. I had an overwhelming response from that post from others who share the same struggle, so I wanted to expand a little on it.

I've been reading Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian along with the study guide. This is a tremendous devotional and I hope to continue reading her other books. But God has been speaking to me in the chapter I'm reading now entitled, "Lord Show Me How To Take Control of My Mind." The first verse mentioned 2 Corinthians 10:5: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it more obedient to Christ." 

A few things really captured my attention and I believe God spoke to me through these statements:

1. A huge part of standing against the enemy of our souls is taking control of our minds. And I believe with God, that is completely possible. Paul writes in the Word that we are to take every thought captive. What does that mean? If you know your mind is wandering to things that are not of God, stop it in its tracks. Ask God if it is from Him? If not, ask Him what you should do with it. The enemy will lie about everything he can to get us to question God's Word and truth. Truth = Christ. Lies = The Enemy.

2. You do not have to entertain every thought that comes into your head. YOU HAVE A CHOICE. You have a choice about what you will accept into your mind and what you won't. This led me to what I like to call "Run Away Thoughts". These are what I had mentioned in the post a few weeks ago and here's an example: I rammed into the corner of our new guest room bed. Ended up with a huge bruise on my thigh, which really did hurt. I checked that bruise all the time for its shape, color, size, etc. My thoughts were, what if there's a blood clot underneath. Even two weeks later, it still hurts, and I'm still thinking what-if, still checking, still having anxious thoughts. These, are Run Away Thoughts. One simple thought leads to another which is worse, which leads to another, which leads to pure anxiety. God, teach me to stop these thoughts before they even begin!

3. There is POWER in the name of the Lord! The is POWER in the Word of God! Pray aloud against the enemy. Study and memorize scripture so that you can KNOW God's truth and promises and so that you can use His truth to destroy the lies in your mind. Ask God to help you to discern when the enemy's voice in upon you so that you may take those thoughts captive and release them to God. Don't be deceived by the anxiety, questions, and harmful thoughts in your mind. You have a choice - you don't have to be consumed by lies.

I encourage you to continue reading your Bible on a daily basis. Heck.. I'm encouraging myself. Because I don't do this daily, and I need it. I may know verses by heart and know of God's truth, but I often need to be reminded. I need to seek His spirit of truth daily so that I am prepared against the enemy and his lies. With God's help, I can take control of my mind. I have a choice when it comes to entertaining anxious thoughts, and I KNOW there is power in the name of the Lord!

Let Go and Let God

Sometimes the unknown can get the best of us. What if THIS and what if THAT. As time goes on we can be consumed with the "what ifs." We can also be consumed by time frames. When is God going to do this or when is God gonna open this door or that door? As Christians these can be daily thoughts.

This is something I am currently battling. THE UNKNOWN. Something BIG is about to happen in my life. Exciting and very nerve racking for me because it is so life changing and I just don't know what it's going to be like. I recently have been frustrated because I just don't know when it's exactly going to happen. It's all I had been thinking about. It wasn't until yesterday that I finally realized that me worrying about "WHEN" won't change a thing! God has everything all planned out and I really don't need to worry about it. It is in His timing and not when I think I'm ready for it.

So, I am choosing to step aside, give all my worries, concerns and frustrations to Jesus and just let it happen when God planned for it to happen. I'm going to choose to have peace and be worry free.

When it is God's  plan it will just happen and will be even better than we imagined! He will give us the desires of our hearts!

LET GO AND LET GOD!

Arm yourself

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Poison

We as believers are a target for Satan.

He is plotting a scheming at this very minute.

Before, as sinners we were a non-factor. NOW, that we saved by Gods Grace...we are so so powerful. The Devil is shaking in hell right now because he know he stands no chance against the Church.

This is why Satan wants to take us out.

 Derail our lives.

 If he puts a little bit of doubt...a little bit of anger...

a little bit of unforgiveness in our hearts, he can poison our walk.

Causing us to derail from that drunkenness we have on Christs love.

I say drunkenness because that is how I feel...I am on a spiritual high.

 

Now that we are saved...we start noticing all sorts of problems.

Problems we didn't even HAVE before we met Christ.

That problem has a root...poison. That poison is Satan.

He is there...tempting, plotting and devouring believers every day.

As believers we can wonder...why does Christ allow Satan this power over us.

Beloved...it is because Christ wants you to choose HIM.

 

Has your perspective been poisoned?

Have you looked at circumstances in your life and ever really thought about the root to that problem?

Poison...

 

Can you lift your vision above your current "schemed" circumstance?

 Friends we have to lift our eyes to the heavens. Because there is where our hope lies.

 If we choose to continue to stare at that mountain of circumstance,

then we will never be free from Satan's poison.

Satan doesn't need to physically kill us.

All he has to do is fog up our perspective a bit and add a little poison.

 

If all you see is sickness...that is poison. See Jesus- see the healer!

If all you see is an average life...that is poison.

See Jesus- he died on the cross so you could have an amazing life!

 

 

 

The words you speak

Have you ever stepped back and really thought about the words that come out of your mouth? Even the little nonsense and playing around. What are you really saying about yourself?

 For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45 So what we are speaking actually reveals the condition of out hearts. If we are speaking lies, negativity and all other nonsense then that is what is really in our hearts and that's what we believe. The enemy wants us to believe all of those lies!

What you say is a matter of life and death...words kill and give life. If we are constantly speaking and believing something like sickness, disease, debt ect. than we are focusing on giving those things life rather than speaking the word of God over those situations to get our miracle.


The words you speak determine where your life goes. Declare the word of god over yourself. When you constantly speak truth you open the door for faith. You words release and activate your faith. So change your declarations to change your life. In Mark 11:23 Jesus says "Truly I say to you, whoever SAYS to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he SAYS will come to pass, it will be done for him.

How powerful is that? Even Jesus himself tells us to SPEAK and use words to move mountains! That is how powerful our words are. Mix your words & faith!

Let this be a reminder to guard what goes into your heart Prov. 4:23 because those are the things we will speak. If your heart is filled with hate and anger than you won't be able to speak with love.

So, if you need any kind of miracle start talking like it has already happened. I AM HEALED. I AM BLESSED. I AM OUT OF DEBT... Change your talk and walk in the blessings!