In the midst

In the midst of what the United States has endured in the past few days you can't help but to sit back & be thankful for every little second you breathe on this earth.

So many moments we take for granted. Like this instant, what you are taking for granted? I can think of a million things that I take for granted. I don't want to live like that.

Innocent lives exit this world without saying goodbye. I always think to myself - what if they just had a big fight with their spouse? Or their kids? Or their parents? Friends? Coworkers? What if they said some hateful things to those they love? All these what ifs.

My biggest fear isn't dying, it's leaving those I love behind. I don't want to imagine the pain those left on earth would endure.

This past week I joined the Overcome the Lie Challenge. It was perfect timing, or God's timing for me in this whirlwind of events going on.

It's a 40 day challenge & we were to pick anything that God prompted us to pick. So I picked 2 things to fast over.

No clothes shopping - this girl loves a maxi skirt when she sees one & I am yet to pass one by when I fall in love with it. So for the next 40 days, I do walk by & say I do not need this but God has already provided me with enough. Day 41 I can't promise anything :)

The biggest one - turning off my phone at 7pm. It's been 3 nights. These nights have not been hard to turn off my phone. The weekends I am thinking it'll be harder when I stay up past 9pm. I love my phone. It has everything I could imagine on it. Emails, texts, IG, facebook, the occasional twitter. Let's be serious it revolves around IG. But my phone is almost right next to me ALL THE TIME. I know God has been telling me to ditch it for awhile, but you know I am stubborn & kept saying well what if, what if, what if.

The past few nights I have been blessed. Putting my kids to bed I sometimes want to gouge my eyeballs out because welp, they are 1 & 3. What do you expect? I struggle sometimes because they don't listen then I get frustrated & I still have to get around for bed blah blah blah blah.

But I began to read to them more. Something I rarely do at night, more of a day time thing for us. Henry now has a favorite book (yes after 3 days I know) & he repeats "that's not my car" & "where's the mouse mommy?" I.love.it.

My husband gave our daughter a cross necklace (that was once his) & his old story time Bible. So Hadley & I have spent our night times in bed reading that. We've always prayed together randomly in the past, but she lights up knowing that after reading we pray. Listening to her pray makes me smile & giggle because of the sweet things she prays for. Last night she thanked God for our hands & arms. I can't help but to think well her mind is so innocent. I think, this is something I take for granted. My arms & my hands. I think it's the most utilized thing on my body.

Little things like arms & hands, we overlook as being thankful for, but my 3 year old not so much. I want to have a mind like a child to be overwhelmed, excited, thankful, & happy about every little thing in my life.