authentic faith

Authentic faith.

What is it? Do you have it? Do I?

Is your faith real? Is mine?

Do you absolutely believe in His Word? His truths? His promises? Do I?

These are all questions I can battle on a daily basis & honestly, on a circumstance basis.

Is my God bigger than my problem & situation? Do I believe He can conquer it and help me through it? Do I trust Him enough to help me through it? Do I believe that His plan is better than my own?

Doubt.

Doubt arises & I question my faith. So is my faith authentic?

I believe that authentic faith is more than just saying you believe, it's a movement. An action to your belief.

When we start rooting ourselves in the Word, our behaviors, our words, our actions start reflecting that authentic faith. My behavior overwhelmingly flows from what I believe deep down. 

a community: where we thrive

I've always loved having a lot of friends. I had groups & groups of friends throughout high school & college. I had a few really good friends, seasons of "best friends", but as I got older I realized who my true friends are, my real best friends. I love them. And I couldn't do life without them & I will fight for them & our friendship until the end. 

But community, that's still important. It's so easy as we get older to become unattached from community. We are no longer in school & we enter into this huge world. A world where I sometimes struggle to find others around me wanting the same thing I do. 

In school, I feel like everyone searched out for friends. In this busy world, I feel like no one searches out for friends. And maybe that's a bold statement, but when you go to Target are you looking for friends? When you go grab coffee are you looking for friends? When you are out to dinner with your husband are you looking for friends? I do not. 

So how do you make friends? I live 2000 miles away from my best friends. I've lived here for a little over 4 years now. You know how I met people? The internet. 

I've met several girls, Julie, being one of them, where we do Bible studies for the past few years & traveled to see Beth Moore. They've become apart of my community here. 

2 resources that I absolutely love are the Influence Network and Thrive Moms. Influence Network you can join & become part of forums & a community group. One of my absolute favorite things is that they offer online classes each month. They have been an absolute blessing. Thrive Moms just launched a network called Thrive Local. It is brand new & there are spots all throughout the US to join a community. And it's a community where you can meet in person. 

Hebrews 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.

I'll be honest, I love staying in my home & not getting out. I am a hermit, a homebody. I just love being in my own home. But God has spoken to me on multiple occasions that I need to get out. He put me here in the middle of California for a reason. And that reason may be as simple as encouraging another believer in this community. To love on them. 

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them. 

How powerful is that? Come together in unity, in community. 

craving grace: restoration

For the last few weeks I have been walking through Ruthie Delk's book, Craving Grace.

• sin
• repentance 

Now on to restoration. Being restored, restored into the person God intends for you to be. 

We sin. We repent. Then we let God cover us in His grace to restore us. I think this might be the most difficult part. At least for me personally. 

Sinning seems to be the easiest part. When we don't abide in God's way but our own. We then recognize our sin and repent and turn away. Then we look to Jesus to wash that blood stain away and cleanse us white as snow. 

But do you ever feel guilty? Like you are not good enough to be cleansed of your sins? I know I do. I struggle with this immensely. This is when you need to speak truth over yourself. Stop believing the lie the devil is putting in your head. 

Take that guilt to the Lord because loved one, you are worthy. Worthy of His grace. 

Let Him restore you. 

Restoration breeds hope, joy, and freedom. It's the promise that one day, in spite of my circumstances or my pain, God will make all things new. -- Ruthie Delk

Do not fear. Do not fret. You are good enough. He has redeemed you. 

Isaiah 43:18-19 -- Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!

You have repented, forget the former things that held you back. Do not dwell on your sin. But trust in God to let Him RESTORE you and do HIS NEW thing. 

What is holding you back from receiving His restoration?

craving grace: repentance

Last week I introduced a book, Craving Grace. I talked about the awareness of sin. This week it's about repentance.

What does repentance look like to you? Repentance is an ongoing battle for me. Sometimes I fight with myself because when I come back to a repeated sin I think to myself.. Didn't I repent of this? Why am I caught up doing it, again?

But I am human. This I must remember. And I also must remember God gives me grace in repeated sins. But striving to do better and be better for Him, to me that is repentance.

The word repentance literally means to turn around. -- Ruthie Delk

In sin, we are acting in our human flesh, satisfying our own desires.
Repenting is turning to the Holy Spirit and relying on His strength to satisfy HIS desires for us.

It means I lean into grace while turning away from the things that have distracted my heart from Him.  -- Ruthie Delk

I love that quote. Sin, everything that distracts us from God. Grace, everything that turns us around back to Him.

This ongoing battle for me also makes me think I falsely repent. And perhaps sometimes this is true, but not always. Sometimes when I feel this way it is just the devil getting inside of my head. But other times are conviction from God that I need to rethink my repentance.

I know that when my heart changes, I truly repented.
I know that when my attitude and behavior changes toward it, I truly repented.
I know that when I see that relationship through Jesus' eyes, I truly repented.

Don't reject repentance. Live in His freedom. He GIVES us freedom and grace if we repent. Make that decision today, walk in freedom. Stop having your own plans. Have HIS plans.

craving grace: awareness of sin

I am currently reading a book called Craving Grace by Ruthie Delk. Grace seems to be my theme these days. God has been speaking to me so much lately about grace. Wanting more of it, giving more of it, learning more about it, craving it in general.

Grace. Unmerited. Unearned. Not deserved. Not worthy. But yet God gives us this, freely.

We don't deserve grace, but He gives grace, no matter what.

Our identity is based on who He is, not who we are. -- Ruthie Delk

How sweet is that to know? To know that our identity isn't based on what we have done or who we wish to become or who we pretend to be or who we really are. It is based on who He is. What He is. What He says we are.

We are all sinners. Sinners that need grace. Without grace we are enslaved to sin. But Chris sets us free. By grace.

Sin is so much more than just behavior. -- Ruthie Delk

Sin is more than a behavior, it's who we become. We get comfortable in our day to day lives, in sin and we continue in that sinful way. Sin gets rooted into our hearts. And what is in our hearts is who we are truly. It affects more than just our behavior but the innermost parts of us. And that hinders our relationship with Christ.

I read that and thought, wow. Wow. So basically I lose my patience (a sin) with my kids because I do not believe that God is powerful enough to give me more patience. Ouch.

When I become bitter I do not believe that God can give me peace.

When my hormones take over me I do not believe God can help me choose joy.

Where I sin, I do not believe God. I do not believe that He can change me or the situation so I choose selfishly to sin.

I make God small. And He is not. He is more powerful than anything I can encounter and I need to believe and act on that.

Accurate self-assessment is the product of grace. -- Paul David Tripp

Until we see ourselves clearly, we will never understand the sweet gift of grace we have been given. -- Ruthie Delk

He still gives us grace

Grace.

What does that word mean to you?

When I think of that word, I think I am lucky that God breathes His grace over me. I am blessed. I look around at my life and think to myself, wow. God does love me. My life is covered with His grace. 

But lately I am trying to focus on giving others grace. I want God's grace to shine through me to others. 
Others, who may not even know God.
Others who know of Him.
Others who simply think God has forgotten about them.
Others who already know & love & live for God. 

We all need grace. And we all need to give grace.

source

My son will be 3 in June. We are almost out of the terrible twos. And quite frankly, he nailed the terrible twos. The kid is like clockwork. Very particular about things (he gets that from his daddy, not me...). The kid needs his sleep. He doesn't mind sleeping in and I love that. But when mommy has to wake up him up all things turn upside down in his world.

At those moments when I want to yell and scream and just totally lose my cool, I look for Jesus. I look for Jesus in my sons eyes. It brings tears to my eyes searching in those big brown eyes because you know what.. I see Him right there in my sons eyes. 

So often we get caught up in our situations we act crazy because we are human, and that will happen. But to try to not act all crazy, to find grace in the moments when I would rather scream at the top of my lungs, but instead calmly search for Jesus.  

How true is this situation in our lives? When I rant and rave because things aren't "my" way. 
God still covers me in grace. 
NO MATTER HOW I ACT.

why did i stop dreaming?

I used to be that girl that I could sit in a room all day & play by myself. Imagine all times of crazy things. Talk to anything in my room & make them whoever I wanted. I was imagining, dreaming as a kid.

In high school I had big dreams for myself. Who I wanted to be. The success level I wanted to be at professionally. Where I wanted to live.

In college, those dreams started to dwindle. I felt little in a big world.

I began to think, dreaming is for kids.

Now, I am in my late twenties & afraid to dream.

Fear. That word alone scares me. Fear I will fail. Fear I will become discontent. Fear I won't be comfortable enough. Fear I will actually end up hating it. Fear I misread God's direction.

Going through Jennie Allen's book, Restless, I am asked all these questions that just make me think about my life. Things I never wanted to think about again. Things I've never even really thought I needed to think twice about.

Then I think what is my God purpose here? Who gives me these dreams in the first place? Who puts those passions in my heart?

I stopped dreaming because of the failures of my past. I am so afraid that the dreams I once had led me to a place of discontent. A place where satan got ahold of me & I left God on the side.

But then I started to wrap my head around some truth. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, as long as they are God dreams. Not dreaming for a better life, leaving myself discontent, but dreaming of a life of what I can do more of for God.

So that's the question. Do you still dream in your life? Do you led God lead those dreams? Or did you stop dreaming like me because of fear?

Do you want to be apart of our Girls of God's Heart community? {click here}

dream big, dream more

Do you ever sit around & wonder why you stopped dreaming?

In the book Restless by Jennie Allen that question was asked.

Why did I stop dreaming? I can think of a million reasons why I stopped dreaming big dreams. But this isn't what this post about it. 

I want to dream big & dream more for this blog. Kelly & I started out on this journey back in August of 2010. We started as just a Facebook page to encourage women in their faith.

Then we started this blog in 2012. To reach more women. To be able to express ourselves & show the work God has done in our lives.

Now, we want more again. We've brought to the table of actually studying the Word with our readers. Similar to the SheReadsTruth Community as well as the IF:Equip Community, but still different.

Julie & I sat down together & discussed what that really means for us. How we want to go about it.

First, we want this to be a community. A community of women sharing what God is doing in their lives, their real life struggles, just anything that they need to get out. We've not created a forum on our page under Guest Resources. This is all new to us to bear with us if there are kinks along the way. 

Also, we want to hear more from YOU. Our readers. Bloggers, non bloggers, anyone. Anyone that has something that they want to share with the world & don't know where to share it. Our blog is here for that. We want to encourage guest writers within our blog. 

So.
Do you have a suggestion of what book in the Bible you want to study?
Do you want to be apart of a community of women online in a forum?
Do you want to write?

We have all of that right here. 

Email us at girlsofgodsheart@gmail.com. 

make me broken

I love worship music. Actually that is an understatement. KLove has brought my worship music to a whole other level. I rarely download songs on my phone, but I have been lately. And I download the songs I put on repeat. Repeat. Repeat. 

Keep Making Me by Sidewalks Prophet has become my biggest prayer. This song send chills up my arms & down my legs. This song is my prayer.

It's my prayer always.

Because I always need Him more.

Make me broken
so I can be healed
cause I'm so calloused
& now I can't feel.
I want to run to You
with heart wide open.
Make me broken.

Make me empty
so I can be filled
cause I'm still holding 
onto my will
& I'm completed
when You are with me.
Make me empty.

'Til You are my one desire.
'Til You are my one true love.
'Til You are my breath, my everything.
Lord, please keep making me.

Make me lonely
so I can be Yours
'til I want no one
more than You, Lord
cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me.
Make me lonely.

Listen to it here
 

let's just take a pause

So many things in my day to day life I think.. Will this really matter? I am mostly talking materialistic items, tangible, worldly things. Like, going to work during the week, doing my mundane tasks while there, cooking food (okay yes that matters for the sake of our health) but cooking food that is "pin worthy" or "instagram worthy", obsessing over a tidy house, social media, and really this list could go on.

I took a pause from writing blog posts because I kept waiting for God to speak to me throughout my quiet time during the weeks for a good blog post. But I kept hearing silence in that department.

Sometimes we just need to pause. Put life on hold.

Because those dirty dishes will still be there waiting for you another moment. 

Someone else's photo of their food is still going to be better than yours.

My newsfeed will still be there whenever it is necessary to check.

But people. They, we, will not always be here.

Putting love into the world to pour into people's souls. That's what matters. 

Those helpless souls out there in this world looking for an answer, feeling empty, not quite sure what's next. They need us. They need our Savior's love. And that love is shown through us.

Of course, I want my home to be clean welcoming in others for a meal. But when I spend 75% of my weekend cleaning & not pouring into the souls of my sweet children, that stuff can wait but my children cannot. They need me. Not a tidy house 24/7. Include them. Be with them. Just stop. 

Same with my husband. He needs me. I want to shower him with love too. But how can I do that with my phone in my hand attached to a world elsewhere & not inside the world of my home.

I always want to minister to people, but am very standoffish about it. But my biggest ministry is within my home. Pouring in the souls of whom God has placed in my life. 

Stop. Just take a pause. 

It'll be worth it.

but I love my God. I will wait for Him.

I wrote a post a few weeks back about being in Bible Study with some elder ladies. The experience. Refreshing. Unbelievable.

The study is good. It's quite different than any other Beth Moore study I have ever done. I've enjoyed it, but it was sometimes difficult for me to really grasp what she was saying or how I am supposed to apply it to my life.

Then. I heard God. Loud. And. Clear. The last week of homework.

I sat at my desk crying out to the Lord. Literally. Tears running down my face because I am so overwhelmed. To the point of frustration. And when will it end?

Everyone gets to the point in their life, and multiple times, at least for me.. What is my niche? No, really God.. What is it? Show me. Plant me in it.

I love being a "homemaker". I love being a wife to such an incredible husband. And I love being a mother to such loving kids. And I love tending to things of my home. But I also like to get out of the house. Time to myself. So I always think I know I couldn't stay at home full time. But more time at home.

I've had this struggle before. 

But this time I am solely relying on God & His timing. Because of His unfailing love, I will trust in Him. 

I sit here now fighting back the tears of frustration. But I love my God. And I will wait for Him. 

But in the meantime, this is the hardest point. The point of breaking. That point of almost turning around & walking away from God's timing. Where you just want to go do it on your own.

But not this time.

Psalm 25:4-5 -- Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your Truth & teach me, for you are God my Savior, & my hope is in you all day long.

Back to the study. The revelation. The, I hear you loud & clear Lord.

Don't worry about your rooftop until you have spent time in the closet. -- Beth Moore, Sacred Secrets

Isaiah 45:3 -- I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

I realize that I need to HEAR Him through my little ears, soak it deep into my heart, meditate, dwell, love on His Truth. Trust Him. SECRETLY. With just Him & I.

And then, when He appoints my time shout it on my rooftop, I will.

If I prematurely shout it out what He has revealed to me in SECRET, what manifestation will really take place in my heart? Probably none. I won't retain His Word to me but just spit back out the information.

And what good does that do me? Will it set me up for failure? Will my relationship with Christ not grow deep & intimately?

Trust in the unfailing love of our God, Tiffany. Trust.

Hebrews 4:16 -- Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy & find grace to help us in our time of need. 

intentional

To you what does intentional look like?

I lead a Good Morning Girls study with a group of 28 other women & this session it's called.. Intentionally Focused.

The word intentional has popped up all over to me. My 2014 goals, to this bible study, to the book 1000 gifts, to church sermons, to the shootings in the news.

I do not want to just be in this world, but I want to be in this world living intentionally. And intentional for God. Not for myself. But for Him.

My focus this past week was to be intentional about who I am no matter who is around. My faith & beliefs are more confessed around other believers than non believers. But why? I need to be an imitator of Christ, always. It doesn't matter who is around.

Ephesians 5:1 -- Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.

Intentional.

Do not take my days for granted. I may leave the house & never come back. So kiss those I love more, cherish my moments more, live IN the moment & not just be present but be apart of it.

Psalm 90:12 -- Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Intentional.

Be persistent & intentional on God's purpose & plan for me. Remove anything in pathway that is selfish & sinful, not glorifying God.

Hebrews 12:1 -- Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders & the sin that so easily entangles, & let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 

Intentional.

God took me out of my comfort zone by no mistake

I started a bible study with my church.. Sacred Secrets by Beth Moore a couple weeks ago. It is definitely a different type of study for Beth.. It is more of a journal set up & more questions about me. Personal questions. Things I've never thought about before. Or things I've buried deep down never wanting to resurface again.

Friday mornings I sit in a study with 8 other women all over the age of 40. 7 of them over the age of 65. Then you have me, a 28 year old. God didn't randomly put me in this group of seasoned Christian women.

Most women I "hang out" with are similar in age to me. We will just say ages 20-40 is my "comfort zone." 

When I showed up there one morning, nervous, but excited because this is my first study with my church. One by one women came in.. Older than I expected. I anticipated I'd have some young stay at home moms with kids around my kids ages. But God had something different in store for me.

All these pretty greyed hair women (but like 2, myself included) filled up our table. I smiled from ear to ear. My heart was happy. My heart was excited. My heart was content. 

I listen to things they went through in their life, things I am currently going through, their victories in areas I can't wait to wrap my hands around these victories. Hope. They give me hope. 

Seeing a women well in age so on fire for God gives me hope. It gives me hope that my fire for the Lord won't go away with age, unless I let it. I hope one day I can say 60 years ago I accepted Christ to reign over my life. And I hope one day I can tell that to a young 20 something year old.

I love that God placed these women in my life. One I saw in Church on Sunday & just couldn't help but to wrap my arms around & give her a hug. 

We all need mentors in life. Mentors can be younger & older. And honestly I have 1 stronger young one, my sister, Taylar (who also writes on this blog). I have several mentors that are my age range. My mom, because.. Well it is my mom. 

I always quietly told God... "I'd love to have some sweet old ladies in my life that has a burning passion for You."

I didn't expect it on Friday mornings in a sweet bible study. But He gave it to me.

this year i'm going to be more radical in belief

It's that time of year again.. The New Year.. Where everyone is positive & intentional. Why can't I live this way all year round? I'm a person who does not make resolutions anymore. I always break them. I always set the bar way too high & never accomplish them. And by January 5th, I am done.

So instead of resolutions.. I make goals. Goals just seem like a better idea of accomplishing something. At least for me. 

Last year I made some goals for myself...

• to serve the Lord, each & every day, to be a witness & example
• to love my husband unconditionally
• to capture & cherish my kids each & every day
• to wear more lipstick

Let me tell you something about last year... 

I served the Lord every day. I was in the Word 95% of the days (I wasn't perfect but I know I made it a point to be in His presence every day). I was more aware of my behavior & who I was influencing in the process. 

I learned to love my husband more than any other human on this earth. This may be a given, but some days are difficult. Sometimes we fight. But I learned that no matter what. Act in love Tiffany. 

I took lots of pictures of my kids. Yeah, they may have not been on my camera but on my phone, so in those moment photos. I cherished them a bit more than I had in the past. The mother role began to develop more within me. 

And yes, I wore more lipstick. I had about 3 sticks of lipstick in 2012.. I now have about 30. I had to throw in some fun!

But the thing is I made it something I knew I could accomplish, some things that we may not try for on a daily basis, or we do.. It's just realistic.

My relationship with the Lord flourished last year. And I owe Him for every thing else in my life that happened last year. I can say hands down.. 2013 was my best year on this planet.

So for 2014 what goals have I made...

• continue my goals of 2013
• to have a deeper & more intimate relationship with my Savior, each & every day, more than last year
• to be radical in belief, like joseph was in trusting God to marry mary
• to spend more time in real life, less time in social media, unplug
• shop less, be content with what I have.. utilize those 30 tubes of lipstick, read those unread books on my bookshelf.. be content. period

Here is what are some resources I've been influenced by or will use to help me accomplish my 2014 goals.

• an amazing article by Jarrid Wilson, an author, blogger & pastor: why i'm getting a divorce in 2014
• the Jesus Project by Ann Voskamp: #MemoryProject2014
• to lead & be apart of as many Good Morning Girl online bible studies: GMG
• to be apart of the She Reads Truth Community: #shereadsTruth
• Amy Grant's new years resolution of 2012: klove article
• this bible verse

a strive for perfection

This year as Christmas approaches I have been reflecting over what Christmas really means. 

I've seen everywhere, Jesus is the reason for the season! And I love it. Sometimes I wonder if I lived in a hole & never realized this catchy saying until this year. Regardless, Jesus IS the reason for this time of year. He is the reason for Christmas. 

Of course I had to find a printable & put it at my front door!

During my devotional time earlier this week I came across a "wow" moment. I love those, times where everything just clicks. And it's something so simple but the Holy Spirit just REALLY speaks to you LOUDLY. 

I will never be perfect. And I know this. But as a Christian we strive for perfection in a lot of things. But what do we strive for when we know we will never be perfect?

Christ was & is perfect. How beautiful is this? He is our example. To become Christ like. 

I wrote this poem, I know it's not really a poem but it's my journal so I can call it one!

As a wife, I love my husband so much that I try harder to please him. I do things for him out of love. 

So as a daughter of the King it's not any different. I love Him so much that I simply try harder to please Him too. I walk in His ways out of love. 

I desire this. 

I crave this.

It's not that I want approval of anyone or Him because I know He already approves of me.. But I want to please Him & honor Him.

No, I will never be perfect. But Christ is & He has set me free.

When God Says "Yes, Now"

The Lord has put a passion on my heart to lead. Lead what I had not a clue. I don't do well telling others what to do & I can easily be distracted. So at first I was confused why He would put this on my heart. But I trusted Him.

I became one apart of the thousands of women across the world to join the Good Morning Girls community. I got linked into a group of women from all over via a Facebook group. I loved it. It was a way to stay accountable & in the Word consistently & interact with other women.

An opportunity arose to apply for the Mentorship program to become a leader. I felt a tug on my heart. So I signed up. And I got into it! I was excited & I loved this 2 week process. At the conclusion of it I still didn't feel "ready" to lead, so I said I wasn't going to start until January after the holiday's but I'd still be apart of a group just not lead.

The Thanksgiving study came & I was feeling unmoved within my group like I needed more. So I said, God? Now? You want me to start for the Advent study? Are you sure?

The next morning I woke up & it was so heavy on my heart that I knew He wanted me to move now. So I sent a message off to friends on Facebook. I got an overwhelming positive response. I felt so blessed. I still feel so blessed.

One week has passed into this Advent study with Good Morning Girls & I feel so amazing & beyond blessed by it.

So I thought back to what God laid on my heart awhile back & feel so rewarded by this. He knew I could do this where I thought I could not. And I still cannot without Him.

Leading an online study may be small to some but it huge to me.

Be blessed.

9 Reasons Why I Love Fall

Here is California, fall comes in November. I grew up in the midwest, fall came every other day, just depends what the mood mother nature was in that day. By November rolls around I am dying to pull out my boots & hoodies & wear big ol' baggy sweatpants. 

I've been writing in my journal things of gratitude. I am so thankful for everything in my life because I know God has provided me with it all. So this lead me to writing about fall. Because who doesn't love fall? Here are just some of my reasons. 

Reasons why I love fall?

1. The drinks. Why do we have to wait all year long for pumpkin anything? Hot cider is now acceptable too.

2. The leaves. Hello gorgeous radiant colors. God's beauty is so point blank in fall time. It's like all of a sudden I am aware of how grateful I am of trees.

 3. Football. I may not over indulge nearly as much as I used to. But a football game echoing through my house is plenty for me. 

4. I can wear long sleeves & enjoy being at a park with the babes not sweating bullets.

 5. I can finely convince my husband to use the fireplace. Well it's December 2nd & it's yet to be turned on, but hey he did say I could use it.

6. Thanksgiving. A time to reflect how grateful you are. A time to come together with family. A time to eat more than you can stand. 

7. Christmas lights. Christmas trees. The earlier the better right? That's my motto. Holidays make my home so much more homey!

8. Mantle decorations steps it up about 10 notches. 

 9. Pumpkins. They are so pretty. Real ones on my front door step or fake ones on my mantle, they just look so content.

What do you love about fall? The weather? The radiant colors? 

Now on to a month reflecting Christ as our Savior!

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Wandering

The #SheReadsTruth community is amazing. Amazing on so many different levels. My favorite thing to do within that community, other than my own devotional, is to check my IG feed of #SheReadsTruth to see what others wrote & what God revealed to them. It is such a strong community of women & I love it. If you have not checked it out, I strongly suggest that you do. I have "met" great women through this. 

I am currently doing their Thanksgiving plan & yesterday, Sunday, the topic "In Wandering". 

I read through it & thought wow because of what the writer just went through, again, with losing a baby. My mind was so fixated on that & how grateful I am for 2 healthy children & my heart just aches for her. 

Then I go back through & journal the spots that God is speaking to me. And He took me to a whole new level. Typically the second time I read it is when God really talks to me to reveal to me what I need to hear that day. But this topic was stronger than ever. 

Wandering.

In times of wandering what do you do? Do you run to or from God? Are you seeking earthly answers or trusting God that He reveal His answers in His time?

I went through a time of wandering. A BIG time of wandering. I became a Christian in July 2005. I was an active Christian in the church as well as participating in Bible Studies. But I never grew as a Christian should. 

1 Corinthians 13:11 -- When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

In July 2009 I began my stages of wandering. I was still in church for about 9 months. Then I stopped going after that. I was searching for answers that God wasn't giving me so I stopped seeking Him & started seeking answers of the now, or earthly answers. I randomly went to church, trying to find a church that reminded me of home (I moved from Indiana to California in this time). 

Last year, October 2012 I finally stopped searching for God & saw that, well He was right there in front of me. This. Whole. Time. I began my journey over with Him. I repented of my selfish ways, I stopped seeking earthly answers, & started walking with Him. 

In this past year my relationship with Christ has grown far more than my first 4 years as Christian. I look back & somewhat get frustrated with myself that I did not take advantage of these years getting to know my Lord and Savior. And then I get frustrated during the time I disappeared from God. See He never disappeared from me, but I ran the other way. 

But what is frustration going to get me? Yesterday God confirmed that those wandering times did in fact lead me right back into His arms. I have the best relationship with Christ that I could possibly have at this moment in my life. And I praise Him for that.

I praise Him that I sought an earthly answer & never found it, but I found Him & His Truth.

I praise Him that He forgives me for my wandering.

I praise Him because I have a God who is faithful & He will NEVER fail me.

I praise Him that at the end of my wandering He gave me the deepest desire to know Him.

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Jesus HAS conquered it all

Be grateful, for He is Good

It's that time of year where thankfulness is the main topic. 

I look at the world & see a lot of broken & hurting people. People that don't have as much as me, people that have more than me... And they are still so broken, left empty. 

There are days that pass that I do not thank the Lord for everything in my life & I hold my head low admitting that. But it's true. We can so easily take everything for granted. We can so easily thank other things that is visible & we sometimes forget the One who actually gave it all to us. 

It being Veteran's Day, if you are in America, take a moment & really thank God for all those soldiers out there that are fighting for US. While we are sitting in our homes with our families "trying to get by" they are sitting somewhere else other than their homes & not with their families fighting for their lives. I thank God for the men & women He has serving our country.

But mostly, this season.. Thank Him. Thank Him for His glorious & radiant Son, Jesus Christ. He gave it ALL for us. I sit here quietly in my bedroom typing away on a computer... And ultimately it all comes down to.. He gave it to me.