Monday, February 3, 2014

but I love my God. I will wait for Him.

I wrote a post a few weeks back about being in Bible Study with some elder ladies. The experience. Refreshing. Unbelievable.

The study is good. It's quite different than any other Beth Moore study I have ever done. I've enjoyed it, but it was sometimes difficult for me to really grasp what she was saying or how I am supposed to apply it to my life.

Then. I heard God. Loud. And. Clear. The last week of homework.

I sat at my desk crying out to the Lord. Literally. Tears running down my face because I am so overwhelmed. To the point of frustration. And when will it end?

Everyone gets to the point in their life, and multiple times, at least for me.. What is my niche? No, really God.. What is it? Show me. Plant me in it.

I love being a "homemaker". I love being a wife to such an incredible husband. And I love being a mother to such loving kids. And I love tending to things of my home. But I also like to get out of the house. Time to myself. So I always think I know I couldn't stay at home full time. But more time at home.

I've had this struggle before. 

But this time I am solely relying on God & His timing. Because of His unfailing love, I will trust in Him. 
I sit here now fighting back the tears of frustration. But I love my God. And I will wait for Him. 

But in the meantime, this is the hardest point. The point of breaking. That point of almost turning around & walking away from God's timing. Where you just want to go do it on your own.

But not this time.

Psalm 25:4-5 -- Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your Truth & teach me, for you are God my Savior, & my hope is in you all day long.

Back to the study. The revelation. The, I hear you loud & clear Lord.

Don't worry about your rooftop until you have spent time in the closet. -- Beth Moore, Sacred Secrets

Isaiah 45:3 -- I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

I realize that I need to HEAR Him through my little ears, soak it deep into my heart, meditate, dwell, love on His Truth. Trust Him. SECRETLY. With just Him & I.

And then, when He appoints my time shout it on my rooftop, I will.

If I prematurely shout it out what He has revealed to me in SECRET, what manifestation will really take place in my heart? Probably none. I won't retain His Word to me but just spit back out the information.

And what good does that do me? Will it set me up for failure? Will my relationship with Christ not grow deep & intimately?

Trust in the unfailing love of our God, Tiffany. Trust.

Hebrews 4:16 -- Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy & find grace to help us in our time of need. 

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