Your desire WILL be

I am the type of person that when I read my Bible I need a plan. It seems like after I finished reading the Bible in a year, my bible studies started quieting down because we are wrapping up. And for me that means less structured time in the Word & more digging in deep all by myself.

Intimidated? A bit. 

I've never really just opened up my Bible to read wherever my heart desires. I typically am in the Word with a bible study next to me, a devotional, or a reading plan.

Now, it's all up to me. I have highlighted a bagillion Scriptures & also wrote down the verse references on note cards. I sat here & thought, okay God what's next? What am I supposed to do? I want to study the depths of Your Scripture but You've got to give me some lead way. And point blank He said, "Tiffany, you have underlined so many Scriptures, review them, memorize them, meditate on them, & live.them.out."

Okay, God. You got it. 

Genesis here we go.. In the beginning.. Underlined... Adam & Eve.. Underlined...

Genesis 3:16 -- Your desire will be for your husband, & he will rule over you.

Ouch, okay God I hear You loud & clear today. 

So, I reread it & reread it.. Opened up a brand new journal (which will now be my Scripture memorizing journal) & I wrote it in there. And then I wrote it on a note card (so I can carry it around with me to be reminded of what God is telling me).

This is my first verse that God laid on my heart to dig deeper with it. And I know why. 

This week has been such a blah week. I don't want to be negative with my word choices but I worked a lot. More than normal. My hours were a bit different this week. My work load just seemed to triple in this past week & I have felt... Well grumpy. So when I come home I am not chipper, happy, excited, full of energy.. But deep down I really want to be these things. My family comes first, but it seems like work always comes first because it gets that dedicated 40 hours of work no matter what. And this is where I battle not being at home more because work gets most of me & not my family. 

So God, wants me to focus on this verse this week.

Of course I desire my husband. He's hot & sexy, what's not to desire? Okay there is so much more than that. He is funny, he is a fabulous father & a spectacular husband, he would at any point do anything for me,  I know this.. I just never ask him to.. Literally this list could go on but I will stop.

I  thought I had this down that I desire him. But I think God wants me to desire him more. Okay, I am okay with that. Why not? That will just help our marriage grow even more. Maybe He means be more intimate with him. Quit being "tired" & be intimate MORE. Our God knows my deepest desire for my husband & our relationship.. Maybe if I focus more on that then God will answer prayers & open doors.

Now.. He will rule over you. 

We live in a society that women belittle men.. All.the.time. Am I guilty of this? Unfortunately yes. And I am not saying I belittle him to the point he feels useless as a man. But do I crack jokes at his expense? I have. Do I tell him sometimes he is not helpful (even though I know darn well he is, I just want help in MY way & I don't want to have to explain myself)? I have. And I know I am not alone. And one that gets me every time is when we are in the car. He drives, but yet I still make comments. Hello, he drives a car without me on a regular basis. I think he's got this.

When we flip on the TV - women.. Independent, don't need their husbands, super woman, dad's the idiot, mom's the successful one, dad's the loser.. I mean literally the list could go on.

But that's not how I want my marriage to work. Right now we have a 50/50 marriage in my eyes. It means we each do 50% of the working outside the home, he cooks, I cook, I clean the house, he takes care of the stuff outside. We are both successful. We are not independent, but dependent on each other. We both need each other. We're both superheroes in our kids eyes. The only time we're idiots is when we are too stubborn to see eye to eye. And we are never losers, we always win! :)

This week I really encourage you to memorize this verse with me. Put it into action. Could your desire for your husband be a little stronger? Could you let him rule over you a little more this week than you did last week?

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