Monday, September 9, 2013

The day I punched the devil in the face

It's Sunday morning. I wake up by both kids coming into our bedroom snuggling & begging for me to get up. My husband gets up & gets ready for work, I take the kids downstairs & begin our day.

The day started great. Then there was yelling, crying, fighting, my husband left for work, my attempt to get ready in time for church & then milk & cereal all over the kitchen floor. I handled it with ease but already felt defeated & it was barely 8am. 

Then I lost it. I broke down, crying because I literally felt like my 4 year old & 2 year old defeated me today. My thoughts running through my head were how am I going to go to church a mess like this? My make up probably looks ruined. I can't go to church now I will be late.

Then I thought, my kids didn't defeat me. I am letting the enemy defeat me. I literally felt the devil pulling me away from going to church. I felt him telling me, I don't need to go because you are a wreck. Who wants to see you at church? All these negative things made me literally want to punch him in the face. So I did. I pulled myself together & we got in the car & drove to church.

Now, if you've read any of my posts in the past you know my son (the 2 year old) has a difficult time with me leaving him in the toddler room to go into church. And this morning, it was worse than ever before. I literally gained a 25 pound necklace hanging from my neck. He was crying. I was humiliated & then tears started to flow down my face. Oh dear God please tell me what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to leave church & just go home? Am I supposed to just let my son behave like this & walk away? 

Again, I felt the enemy still trying to pull me away from the church service. And I knew why. He didn't want me to hear the message, he didn't want me in there worshiping his biggest rival because he knows that if I do.. He loses again. And he did.

So I left my son there screaming. I knew it'd only last for a short period, as it always does, but this morning was a lot different than any other morning. 

I walked into service, worship already started but I took a deep breath & realized how at peace I was. I know that Henry has to learn, it's the repetition of it. One day he will go in with ease. And then to hear what our church service was over...

God's Provision When Times Get Tough. How do we handle ourselves when things don't go accordingly? How do we deal with things in the middle of a troublesome situation? Do we let God lead the way & depend on Him, or do we flip out & take matters into our own hands?

The choice is ours. And today my friends, I chose to punch the enemy in the face & take God's hand.

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